Thursday, January 19, 2012

January - Trying to Get Through It

January of 2012 seemed so promising on its second day.  I had high hopes for the day, for the month, for the year.  And, then, in just an instant, everything changed.  I fell down the basement stairs.  I didn't fall far, but I fell hard.  Since that time, I have been mostly absent from life as I knew it.

I have not driven.
I have not read.
I have not written.
I have stayed away from the computer because I cannot tolerate the light from it, 
nor can I tolerate the text I see written on it.  
I do not watch television.
I cannot watch movies.
I cannot tolerate crowds of people.
I cannot tolerate noise.
I prefer darkness over light.

I have focused on getting through each day.
I have focused on believing that I would see light coming through the dark clouds that seemed to always be overhead.
I have tried to hang on to hope:
hope that I would get better,
hope that the pain and dizziness would go away,
hope that I would be myself again.

Today, I had the best day that I have had in 17 days.  I am finally feeling better.  I am finally believing that I will be better.  We have an action plan as far as how to deal with this injury, and I am sure that in time, I will be better.

My husband has been my constant encourager.  He has allowed me to sit quietly in the dark for hours on end so I could give my brain time to heal.  He has downloaded stories for me to listen to on my iPhone.  He has driven me to get my hair cut so I would feel better about the way I looked.  He has driven me to doctors.  He has been patient.  He has, as always been my champion.  I don't know what I would do without him.

Yesterday, my dear friend from college days told me that her mother always said, "If you can make it through January, you can make it through anything."  True.  January can be so bleak at times.  It can be a harsh month to get through.  I am working on that right now.  I am working on getting through January.

I have missed my blogging friends, but I am not quite ready to read blogs again.  I will check in as I am able.

Writing this post is an accomplishment.  I hope to be back going full steam soon.  I hope you all are well.  I miss you.