|Julie and Phoenix|
|Julie and Phoenix|
Sit with it: I've learned from many sources that while many may think that people who are suffering great loss may think that they must just push through it and carry on, in reality, it is really necessary to take time to sit with one's grief in order to heal. Some call this "soul work." One must be willing to mentally and spiritually visit some dark, lonely, and confusing places that threaten to overwhelm the emotions when sitting with grief and letting it wash over one's physical and spiritual being. One must trust that healing will come. Some fear that if they start crying, they might never be able to stop. In reality, no one ever cried forever and ever. I sometimes suddenly find myself sobbing over a remembrance, but once I've expressed the emotion I am feeling, I am ready to move on with my day. I feel better. I am grateful for the memory that brought the acknowledgement of the treasure I have lost. I am then able to see other blessings that surround me.
Grieve it: Julie was one of the great treasure of my life. Losing her brought what C.S. Lewis and others have called "the dark night of the soul." It is in the dark night that one learns that one truly has a soul. In this dark night of the soul, I discovered more truth about life, and love, and faith than I learned in any other experience. I am grateful for others who have also grieved deeply who have shown me the way to walk through this valley. I learned I must deal with my grief or it would deal with me.
And so today, I've taken the time to let grief wash over me. I've also celebrated the life that was given to me for 34 short years. I hold Julie's memory in a special place in my heart. I grieve her, my sweet Jules. It was her strong, beautiful, intelligent, funny, spirit that once brought such great joy and richness to my life. Her depression and illness also brought me great worry and pain. I grieve over the pain that she suffered in her life. I wish she could have known healing and peace in this life.
In my stillness today, I allow grief to wash over me. I would never deny my soul the need to grieve the loss of the treasure that was my beautiful Julie.