This evening I sit in my favorite chair gazing out of the window of the family room onto my snow covered yard. I am filled with peace as I admire the soft orange, purple and bluish gray hues of the sunset. It is early, not even 5:00 p.m., but the sun is setting for the last time on 2010. I am truly blessed by the beauty outside my window. The rose bushes are wearing their fluffy white winter coats. The undisturbed snow blanketed yard is a reminder that Buster is gone. I miss my dear golden retriever friend.
We've had many losses this year. Christmas was much more difficult than I ever thought it would be. Many times, I found myself sensing that something was really wrong with the day because it seemed incomplete. I was surrounded by my children and grandchildren. For that I am so grateful. We had such a great time, but this mother of five kept counting heads and kept coming up short. I don't know if I will ever get over the counting and being shocked anew that one is no longer with us.
The great hole in my heart and in my family will never be filled, yet in the waning light of this day, as the sun sets on 2010, I am grateful for much. I have known more love than I ever thought possible. I have experienced grace that has expanded my soul and deepened my faith. Many loyal friends have been there for me. My family has kept me sane as they laughed and cried along with me on this journey as we try to adjust to our great loss. I look forward to the dawn of a new day and of a new year.
Happy New Year! May the new year bring each of you hope, joy, and many blessings.
