This evening I sit in my favorite chair gazing out of the window of the family room onto my snow covered yard. I am filled with peace as I admire the soft orange, purple and bluish gray hues of the sunset. It is early, not even 5:00 p.m., but the sun is setting for the last time on 2010. I am truly blessed by the beauty outside my window. The rose bushes are wearing their fluffy white winter coats. The undisturbed snow blanketed yard is a reminder that Buster is gone. I miss my dear golden retriever friend.
We've had many losses this year. Christmas was much more difficult than I ever thought it would be. Many times, I found myself sensing that something was really wrong with the day because it seemed incomplete. I was surrounded by my children and grandchildren. For that I am so grateful. We had such a great time, but this mother of five kept counting heads and kept coming up short. I don't know if I will ever get over the counting and being shocked anew that one is no longer with us.
The great hole in my heart and in my family will never be filled, yet in the waning light of this day, as the sun sets on 2010, I am grateful for much. I have known more love than I ever thought possible. I have experienced grace that has expanded my soul and deepened my faith. Many loyal friends have been there for me. My family has kept me sane as they laughed and cried along with me on this journey as we try to adjust to our great loss. I look forward to the dawn of a new day and of a new year.
Happy New Year! May the new year bring each of you hope, joy, and many blessings.
Sally, I don't know what to say, John and I sit here weeping. I love you so much, and learn so much from you. Peace my sister both in blood and in Christ.
ReplyDeletePeace for you in the new year. :')
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for all that you have had to go through... are still going through. However, I'm glad you are blessed with such a beautiful, loving, supportive family. I'd like to wish you a peaceful 2011 full of happy adventures.
ReplyDeleteI do hope that painful tear in your fabric will begin to heal in 2011 with sweet memories and the love of all those who are dear to you.
ReplyDeleteHere is to a much better 2011.
Oh my, you're living through every parent's worst nightmare. I would imagine this first Christmas to be the hardest but the loss will still be there every Christmas, but hopefully not as raw. Bless you and I wish peace for you in 2011.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year From Southern California.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget to watch the 122nd Rose Parade on New Year's Day coming from Pasadena, California...only 30 miles from The Old Geezer's home :-) If you miss the live telecast, I'm sure there will be lots of reruns through out the day.
No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. ~Henry Ward Beecher
May God Bless and Protect You in the Year to Come. ~Ron
What a beautiful and inspiring post. Your words are balm for my heart today. You offer me hope and comfort. May the new year bring you healing and more joy than you've ever know before.
ReplyDeleteMiss Sally, I grew up in your North Ogden neighborhood, wedged in age between Ryan and Keicha. I found your blog through Keicha's tags on Facebook. I'm so happy she lets us in on your blog! I've loved reading ir :) I've been especially touched in reading your words these past few months. Your thoughts have been so honest and thought-provoking and I've often found myself pondering the painful process you and your family are going through. I'm so truly sorry. I hope the new year brings you and your family all the best! -Gretchen Allred Buhrley
ReplyDeleteGretchen, thank you for your kind words. I remember you well. How are you mom and dad? I checked out our blog. You have a beautiful family. God bless you during this new year.
ReplyDeleteThe holidays are multilayered with the memories of years, and they can be almost unbearably sad. May this new year see the lifting of your grief as well as surprising new beginnings.
ReplyDeleteDear Sister Retired English Teacher,
ReplyDeleteWe are a special breed, so forgive my calling you my sister.
There have been more than several losses in our family this year so I know how those losses can create abysses. However, I do not presume to know your grief. I am sorry for it and will keep you in my prayers.
Sally,
ReplyDeleteIt is a blessing to start the new year with peace and a feeling of hopefullness. One of my blessings this past year has been getting to know you. Even across the miles, I feel that I have found a friend. I wish you all the best in the coming year and I look forward to reading your insights on your blog.
Jann