|This is not the look I was going for, but it is the one I have|
So much of my identity was tied up with my hair.
It still is, but now, I am learning a new identity. The identity I wish to project is one I have struggled to accept. It is the identity of a woman who wishes to live life as she is: nearly bald, altered on the outside, but changed on the inside. I have progressed through the stages of grief over this new appearance of mine. I’ve cried. I’ve hidden. I’ve screamed. I denied that this could really happen to me to the degree to which it has happened. I’ve spent a lot of money on cures and cover-ups. I’ve been through the bargaining stage where I thought if I just changed my life style, the creams and lotions I used, changed my diet, this condition would die out. None of that helped much or changed the advance of this progressive and permanent condition. Those words progressive and permanent, I was just sure would not apply to me when I first heard them, but those words are true, and they are my reality. Acceptance has been a long time coming, but day by day, I accept that there is so much in life that I can not change.