Saturday, January 19, 2019

Brainstorm Overload


Too many days of brainstorming on too many topics have left me in a fog.  

I’m exhausted.

My body aches.  

My body is in an inflammatory flare.  

My brain truly is in a fog.

Thursday, I saw one of my doctors, actually my doctor’s physician assistant, as a follow-up for health problems I don’t want to even think about, let alone discuss.  I showed her my latest blood work, and I still see her face as she stared at my inflammatory markers.  Yes, if she had been an emoticon, she’d have been the one with the great big eyes. Then, she composed herself and said, “We must get you into one of our rheumatologists.” “We need some more blood work.  We need another _______ study for _______.”  I walked out of her office with a fistful of papers for medical testing.  

I felt so grateful for her compassion and need to hear me and see me and for putting her best medical background to work to understand what is going on in my body.  There is much hope that comes from finding a new partner in brainstorming about what is going on in my body.  This body of mine that suffers from being attacked by autoimmune disease needs all the help it can get.  

Brainstorming is where I live most days.

I deal with a rare form of hair loss called Frontal Fribrosing Alopecia, so I am always brainstorming on ways to minimize, live with, afford the fixes for this devastating and disfiguring disease that has robbed me of my hair, my identity, my health.

One autoimmune disease leads to another.  It seems my body is out to acquire more than autoimmune diseases than it already has.

Brainstorming on ways to deal with health problems, healthier living, family problems, and life in general always seems to be going on around here. 

 Who has time or energy for brainstorming about writing?  

I brainstorm on ways to cope.  

I pray.

I read my Bible.  

I journal.

I write “to do” lists. 

I brainstorm until my brain says, 

No more storms in the brain.  Take a break.

Breaks are good.

The fog will lift.

The sun always comes through when one is in a storm, in a fog.

I will feel better.

I have to let the brainstorming go for a bit. 

My brain needs a rest, so does my body.