The onslaught of messages on just what
would make the perfect
Christmas present come long before
November.
Christmas catalogs, mailers, newspaper
inserts heralding sales on the perfect Christmas gift, pile up in the mailbox
and on the table.
Texts are sent to grandchildren inquiring
just which gift would be perfect for them.
Shopping commences at malls, in local
shops, and online.
This is Christmas present.
It all seems so complicated -
the way we do Christmas present.
A modern and technologically savvy
grandma with “old school” habits,
I
write post it notes and stick them to my phone as I scurry about
trying to find the perfect Christmas
present.
I check the lists and where to find the
gifts.
“What size will fit each now nearly grown
grandchild,” I ask myself,
“and will I find something in budget in
that size.”
The gifts are all simple really, but
Grandma wants all the grandchildren to have a
Christmas gift from her to open.
Shopping, shopping, shopping, I scurry
about before I head home.
I check the budget.
I check the checking account.
I run out of checks, still have a bit of
money, but can’t find more checks.
“Good thing I’m buying gifts and not
sending checks,” I think.
I note the last check is numbered 1225
Wrapping is done in paper from remnants that
remain from years gone by because I forgot to put new paper on the list of
things I need.
I
find a nearly empty roll of tape.
I have no ribbon and the bows that remain
are smashed and ruined.
Christmas Present is wrapped in leftovers
from Christmas Past.
Boxes are found, filled, and shipped.
Hoping to create the perfect Christmas
Present,
I arduously haul up boxes of decorations
with which to decorate the house.
I both delight in and cry over the
memories that escape those boxes holding memories from so many Christmas Pasts.
“Will the children, none living near me,
even make it home for Christmas?” I wonder, “And if they don’t, just why am I
going to all this work?”
My heart is touched by memories as I hang
each ornament, but honestly,
I am mostly doing all of this decorating
for
Christmas Present
perfunctorily,
as if I’m doing
a routine duty,
superficially.
There is no true Christmas spirit being
conjured up within my heart or mind.
Christmas Present is filled with
messages:
This year be present for
Christmas.
Be the present to someone else this Christmas.
Your presence is the
present.
It no longer is Christmas Past, I tell
myself as I the Ghost of Grandmother French reminds me of all the candy,
cookies, pies, and fruit cakes she made to prepare for a Merry Christmas where
all the family gathered in her home.
It is not 1950.
It is 2016.
Christmas Present is complex.
************
On the fourth Sunday of Advent,
One week before Christmas,
I search for something festive that fits
to wear to church.
Festive clothing hanging in the closet
screams of Christmas Past when I could fit into those clothes.
Finally, I conjure up some sort of outfit
that will be suitable for the tradition that I carry in my head. The tradition dictates that I must clothe
myself in festive, dressy attire to attend church.
Most folks never wear dressy clothes to
church these days,
but I am stuck in Christmas Past.
After all, if I dress the part, won’t I
feel like I have the Christmas spirit?
I walk into church feeling like I am in
costume,
masquerading as one whose heart is ready
for the final week of Advent.
The music leader
tells us that yellow strips of paper on in the bulletin. We are to take them and write on them all
that is keeping us from worshiping Jesus this year. What is filling our hearts and minds instead
of the One we came to worship? What is robbing us of our joy? I turn and look at my husband. He mouths the words I don’t want to
hear. He knows what it is that I am
focused on.
How do I write
those words on that strip of paper? They
would reveal just who I am and what thoughts rob me of my joy and keep me from
Jesus. Will anyone read these? I worry that someone might. I print the words. I don’t want the pastors to recognize my handwriting.
Will I be known as the woman masquerading
around dressed in Christmas cheer when she really feels no good cheer at all? Will my lack of faith in believing that God
is able to answer the prayers that I keep as constant requests on my heart be
exposed?
I write down those
robbers of joy and peace and hope anyway.
I write down what is keeping me from worshiping the one I came to
worship. I write down what keeps me from
Jesus on His birthday.
We are reminded
that all that keeps us from God, from worshiping His Son, His Gift to us, is
just straw. Straw. I write down my
confession on that yellow strip of paper and carry it to the front of the church
and drop it in a simple, rough-hewn wooden manger. Other strips of paper filled with other
confessions are also strewn in that manger.
The replica of the place where Baby Jesus would be placed has become a
straw filled receptacle containing not the Christ child, the baby Jesus, but
instead it holds the confessions of a people who need a Savior, One to save
them from all the things of this world that bring no joy, no peace, no
hope. This manger at the front of church
is a crib filled with pain and sorrow and envy and pride and materialism and
striving that will burn like straw. It
is filled with worthless things.
It is such a bed as this that would hold
the One who came to save us from our sins, the One who came to save us from the
idols we worship instead of Him.
The manger contains straw.
It is the Season of Advent.
I have not yet
received the joy of His coming this season because I am trying to recreate the
rituals, the traditions, of the season. I
am stuck in the trappings of Christmas. I
am seeing and reading the messages of the world about the season.
I have not
focused on The Word made flesh who came to dwell among us.
Immanuel – which means God with us – has come,
yet I live as if He has not yet arrived.
Christmas Present is not about me being
present at all, it is about
Christ being present in me.
There is no supernatural filling by some
Spirit of Christmas Present that fills me with the Christmas Spirit.
I know this.
I need to remember this.
Christmas, like every other time of the
year, is about walking in the truth that I am filled with
His Presence,
and His Spirit.
There is no joy in my heart because my
eyes have not been on Jesus;
my eyes were on the trappings of the
season.
There was not peace in my soul because I
was worried about the
problems of this world,
of my world,
of the world of those I love,
rather than in trusting in the One whom came
to bring us
healing, and hope, and peace.
Christmas Present:
Political unrest,
“Wars and rumors of wars,”
ALLEPO,
The children of Allepo,
Wars and rumors of wars
Fill the news.
On the fourth Sunday of Advent, the
pastor reads from Jeremiah 23,
Woe to the shepherds who
destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! declares the LORD.
Jeremiah tells
the people that the LORD has declared that He will attend to the evil deeds of
the shepherds that have not cared for the flock. Evil leaders will answer to God. A good shepherd will come to care for the
flock and to bring them back to the fold.
Earlier that
day, on the fourth Sunday of Advent, burdened down with fears for the future, and
for my loved ones, I had turned to Hebrews 1 before I prayed for those worries
and concerns that were robbing me from fully trusting in the One able to take
those worries and concerns and carry them for me.
As I heard the words of Jeremiah, I was
reminded of the first verses in Hebrews.
Long ago, at many times and
in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets,
but in these last days he
has spoken to us by his Son, through whom also he created the world.
The promise of those prophets for a good
shepherd was fulfilled.
Jesus, my good shepherd, has come.
He knows me.
He sees me.
He knows what is
in my heart, and what is written on that yellow slip of paper.
He doesn’t ask
me to clean myself up so I can come into his presence.
Instead, He cleanses
me so I am purged of all the sin that separates me from Him.
He doesn’t tell
me to follow in His footsteps so I can prove myself worthy.
No, He shows me
I will never prove myself worthy of Him, and so by His grace He robes me in His
righteousness so I am worthy before the throne of God.
The Gift,
The child born with the government upon his
shoulder,
The child named
Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God,
Everlasting Father,
Prince of Peace,
came
to save His people from their sins and the sins of this world.
I am no longer
wearing those ill-fitting, inappropriate, filthy rags that I thought would
cover up what I didn’t want the world to see.
I have taken my eyes off the Creator of the Universe and focused on
looking at the world. I have put my
energy into my own efforts to brings a measure of joy to others. I have sought
to put on the trappings of the season and make sure all rituals and traditions
are followed. I had not had time to
focus on the One we celebrate.
As I move
forward into Christmas Present and towards Christmas Future, my prayer is that
I will remember the words of this hymn, O
Holy Night.
Truly He taught us to love
one another.
His law is love and His
gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for
the slave is our brother
And in His name all
oppression is ceased.
The pastor tells us as believers in
Christ we are robed in the Righteousness of Christ, which is referenced in
Jeremiah.
And this is the name by
which he will be called: ‘The LORD is our righteousness.’
He robed us in that righteousness not
just to someday stand before His throne worthy but to also do His work in this
world with compassion, justice, and mercy.
In 2016, I know
of no other way to have hope for the future than for me to continue to trust in
the One who came to put an end to the hopelessness, injustice, and lack of joy
and peace we find in this world.
I am here to fulfill is my purpose He has
given me
to know Him and make Him known.
Everything else is just straw.
Christmas Present
Christ present in me.
Christmas Present
I am filled with His presence.
* Thank you to my pastor Mark Bates for his sermon which spoke to me so powerfully this Sunday and inspired this post.
