Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Decisions Have Been Made

Several years ago, in a blog post entitled  "Moments of Clarity," I wrote, "I am where I need to be in my life, and I am living in the exact right place for this time in my life."  I had experienced one of those moments where with great clarity of thought I was able to express my acceptance of my present circumstances in life while also defining my vision for my retirement years.  Resolving in my own mind a struggle over where I wanted to live, I fully embraced the idea of living in Pueblo throughout my retirement years.

I listed the affirming thoughts that came to my mind as I began to formulate my reasons for living right were I was planted for long into the future.  Each delineation added to my clarity.

  • I knew the educational community.  I understood where it had been and where many hoped it was going.  I saw myself as remaining a viable part of that community.
  • My husband's roots in this community run deep.  He has spent nearly his entire life here.  They even named the street in front of his high school after him when he retired.
  • I had begun a garden.
  • I knew and accepted the climate here - the wind, the heat, the lack of water.  I wouldn't have to rethink a garden.
  •  I wouldn't have to acclimate to a new social or environmental climate.  
  • I had remodeled my home and had it just as I wanted it.
  • I was certain I would spend my time writing, "telling my story."
All of that was true and right at the time.  I'm glad I have that blog entry to remind me of that.

Now, much has changed.  Much of that which rang so true just a few short years ago no longer seems to apply.  Perhaps, this past five months have been defining months for the future that my husband and I hope to have together.  Life has changed our priorities.  

Since my husband's near heart attack in December, and since the fall I suffered in January, the home we have loved and worked so hard on to be the place where we would spend our retirement years suddenly seemed to no longer really fit our needs.  It is too large.  It has too many stairs.  The yard is too big.  The garden is more than we can handle.  

More than that, the setting for the story of our remaining years no longer seemed right all.  The children live too far away.  The doctors we consult are located in a town forty miles north of us.  Mostly, we realized that we needed to make some decision while we still could on where we would live that would make it easier not only on us, but also on our children.

And so, we decided to sell our dearly loved home and move to Colorado Springs.  The past few weeks have been filled with all kinds of emotions.  We have been on daily emotional roller coaster rides.  We are selling in a down market.  We are buying in a market that is much more expensive than where we live.  We could not decide exactly where to live in Colorado Springs.  I had pretty strong ideas, and of course the neighborhoods where I wanted to be were some of the most expensive with the fewest houses available.  Then, there was the decision over whether we should buy a town home, a patio home, or a 'stand alone' home.  

We actually had decided to forget the entire thing and wait a year to make any big moves until a chance phone call on Saturday.  My hair stylist in Colorado Springs called late Saturday morning to tell me she had found the house we were looking for in the exact neighborhood where I wanted to live.  By 4:00 that afternoon, we had made an offer on the house that perfectly fits what we wanted.  Our house went on the market on Monday afternoon.

Now, we just have to sell!  We can't really move without a sale on our house.  We are cautiously optimistic.  This home is a lovely family home.  I hope the right family who is looking for just the right place comes along soon.  

We are happy with our decision to move.  We know we are doing what is best for not only us, but also for our children.  One grandchild started to cry when she heard we are moving.  She said, "I love that house."  I know just how she feels.  I love this house too.  So many memories have been made here.  Another grandchild said, "But we will make new memories in a new house."  He is right.  That we will do.  

Easter 2010