Celebrating Colorado

Colorado turned 139 years old this past Saturday.

We decided to celebrate both the birthday and the State of Colorado by visiting one of her treasures:

Red Rock Canyon Open Space.

I'd never been to Red Rock Canyon Open Space before.

In fact, as a third generation Coloradan, born and raised in the City of Colorado Springs, I am ashamed to say I'd never even heard of Red Rock Canyon Open Space until a few years ago.

I grew up spending many happy days throughout my childhood exploring Garden of the Gods.

I couldn't even tell you how many times in my lifetime I have driven past the 787 acres that comprise this spectacular treasure tucked unnoticed in the canyon along side of Highway 24.

How did I miss it?

How did I not know it was there?

The short answer is that until the early 2000's it was owned for over eighty years by a private family.
It was not on public lands.
It was private and inaccessible.

The story of how the City of Colorado Springs acquired this area will not be recounted here in this post, but I have provided a link for those of you whom might be interested in reading about about it.

Link:  Red Rock Canyon Open Space.

I wish my uncles were alive.

No doubt in their days of exploration of the Colorado Springs area during the 1920's and 1930's, I have every reason to speculate that they visited this place while looking for arrowheads and places to climb and explore.
They knew about such secret places.
They had explored them.
I doubt that rumors of a man with a gun protecting the place would have kept them out.
I just wish I could ask them about it.

This area, known as the "secret Garden of the Gods," is truly, as the article I linked for you says, 

a geological wonder.

If you have been to the Garden of the Gods, you have seen similar outcroppings of red sandstone rock as you will see in this open space.

In fact, both areas are one whole geographic ecosystem.

Only in modern times have they been viewed as separate systems.

I am not a geologist, though I wish I had studied more of this field, but the rock formations in my hometown have always fascinated me.  

Having never been to Red Rock Canyon Open Space,
Jim and I did not know what to expect when we set out for our adventure.

We tried to explore the area last summer when son Jonathan and grandson Atticus were here.

We only got a photo to commemorate the start of the hike when the rains came.

This year, we again took a few photos to commemorate the day and
hoped rain would not end our hike.

(Typical blogger activity: take photos for the blog at the start of any adventure.)

The smile is a real one.

Feeling well and energetic,
I was so excited to finally get out and do a hike with my man and my dog.

There is no better way to celebrate Colorado Day than by taking in her beauty 

with the ones you love.

Our first task was to choose a trail to explore.

We started down the path.

The day was warm, but the clouds were not threatening a storm.  

They provided a welcomed cloud cover from the sun.

I love that blue Colorado sky.

I love those red rocks.

Yes, Colorado is colorful.

Colorado means:  colored red.

Now you know how Colorado got her name.

Enjoy photos from our walk.

I believe this peaceful looking lake is not without its controversy.

It was built by the previous owners of the area to catch and store rain water.

That is against the law in the State of Colorado.

Colorado Water Laws are very strict.

Retaining pools are illegal.

Pools like these have been dry during periods of drought.

Spring rains caused them to flood and damage the surrounding trails.

On this day, the pool was beautiful and serene.

You can read about the damage and the water controversy here if you are interested.

Look, the sky is changing.

That is a part of celebrating Colorado.

Her weather is quite unpredictable.

I honestly don't know what this monument is commemorating.

I failed to record it in my notes.

I was more interested in getting a photo of the Peak (Pikes Peak).

It is the distant mountain in the center of the photo.

This past spring many of the hiking trails in Red Rock Canyon Open Space were washed out by spring rains.

In fact, the area had just recently reopened after the trails were repaired.  

This waterlogged field, covered in natural grasses,  was quite marshy and wet.

Look closer.

Can you see the dragonfly?

(It's barely visible in the center of the photo.)

Dragonflies, symbols of change, 

a change in perspective and self-realization,

have been showing themselves to me on several long walks Jim and I have taken this summer.

They have become an important symbol of what I have been experiencing this year.

This self realization has at its source the type of change that comes from

mental

and 

emotional 

maturity,

and from the 

understanding 

of the deeper meaning of life.  

Dragonflies have become my symbol of the entry into my seventies.

I am seventy.

I am learning to embrace the changes in my life and in my perspective of life.

I am reminded how important this time of life is when I encounter unexpected sightings of the dragonfly.

They are so magical.

Their iridescence

 reminds me that it is good to end

one's self-centered illusions.

It is time to have

a clear vision of the realities of life.*

Live in the moment.

Live life to fullest in that moment.

   Few things are more healing to the mind and the soul than walking through areas where one can observe and reflect upon nature.

I recognize and acknowledge the awesome power that created this geological specimen.

Since my earliest days I have marveled at the trees that seem to grow out of rocks.
It is a reminder that while the soil may seem unfriendly,
and
it may appear as if nothing will grow in such circumstances,
there are examples all through nature that show us
that environment is not the only predictor of growth or of survival.
Life springs forth under the worst of circumstances.
I love the lessons of nature.

Colorado,
you give us much to celebrate.
I love this place, the place of my birth.
I'm so grateful to have this beauty just a few short miles from my home.

The hike ends with a reflection.

We have found a new place to explore and enjoy.
We will be back.

Jim and Boston posed for one final photo,

while I counted these two among the blessings of my day.

* Reflection on the dragonfly were recorded in my journal earlier this summer.  I don't know where I found these definitions to the meaning of the dragonfly.  No doubt they were found on some internet search.  I did not cite the reference before I wrote these line in my journal.

More July News

Yes, July certainly has had its moments.

Some have been so awesome.

Others, not so much.

The awesome part has been time with family and friends.

While my children and grandchildren were here visiting, we were able to also spend some time with my cousin Diana.  She is the daughter of my father's sister.  When we were children, her family and my family were always together for family get togethers that included holiday celebrations, picnics, camping, and just playing together on a summer afternoon.  Her sister Donna is my age, just ten days younger, so Diana is the younger sister we always tried to stay away from.  We were just too cool to play with the younger siblings.

Now, my younger cousin Diana is also known as Dian Curtis Regan.  She is a children's books author.  She and her husband had dinner with all of us on the Fourth of July, but she wanted Keicha to come over and see her home. I also wanted to inspire my granddaughters (and myself) by seeing her office.  

In the collage above, I have included a photo of Dian at her desk.  Top right photo is of my granddaughters and daughter with Dian, a photo of Dian's sister Donna and me with Dian, the girls looking at the books Dian has authored, Dian in front of the books she has published, and finally, a photo of Regan writing on Dian's window.  

My grandchildren grew up reading their famous cousin's books, so it was a thrill for them to see the place where she "works her magic."  Dian's latest book is Space Boy.  I love this photo of my granddaughter Gillian reading Dian's book, Princess Nevermore.  It was taken a few years back.  

***********

Doctor Appointments and Health Problems

I've spent much time over the past few months up in Denver at National Jewish Health involved in health test and consults.  I've had the good fortune of going up to this renowned hospital for the past nineteen years.  I started going up there after a chemical exposure I experienced on the job.  They have always taken such good care of me.  

I so appreciate my GI doctor.  Lately, she has put me through some tests that haven't been pleasant, but she is doing all she can to solve my GI issues.  Sometimes, I have to remind myself of this message as I am walking into the hospital for yet another test.  "We never say never."

I have recently been diagnosed with hypercontractile esophagus or jackhammer esophagus.  Not fun!  The days of having symptoms have been more numerous than I'd like to have experienced.  Attacks are very painful and can sure ruin a day.  My doctor has treated the condition by giving me a BOTOX injection in the esophagus about a month ago. (No, I couldn't talk her into giving me any BOTOX injections in my wrinkles on my face!)  The next day, the injection or the endoscopy caused me to experience the worst attack of esophageal spasms I've had yet.  The spasms lasted several days.  You'd think I'd lose weight since I hate to eat and experience pain so often when I do.  

I've had more than one barium test to see how my system is working in the last month or six weeks.  I was scheduled to have a pillcam test yesterday, but then I was hit with a new challenge.

Shingles!

I could barely believe what I was hearing on Tuesday when I went to my allergy doctor to see if he could diagnosis a strange rash.  

I had driven to Denver on Monday for a doctor's appointment.  After the appointment, I was able to spend time with a girlfriend whom has recently moved back to Colorado from California.  We had such a wonderful time catching up.  Marilyn is one of those friends that you can not see for years and then when you do see those types of friends again, you pick up where you left off.  I'm so glad she is back in Colorado again.  I look forward to more times together.

As I drove to Denver, spent time with Marilyn, and drove home again, I marveled at how good I felt.  It was just so nice to feel good and have energy.  I did have a nagging pain right over the area where my pacemaker was inserted, and my left shoulder hurt, and it was a bit painful in my back on my left side, but I didn't think much about it.  "The driving is aggravating my shoulder," I thought.

That night, I notice that I had a strange looking rash that I had not seen earlier in the day right on top of the pacemaker site.  "Weird," I thought.

The next morning, the rash was more pronounced.  I could not decide what on earth it was, so I called the allergy doctor since he is familiar with my rash personality.  (Pun intended!  I am always getting weird rashes.)

His PA looked it over and said she really thought it was shingles.  I nearly fell out of the chair!  She said she wanted me to follow-up with my primary care and the cardiologist because of where the rash was located.  Quite honestly, I wasn't sure I believed her diagnosis.  I didn't think I had enough pain for my problem to be shingles.  I decided not to take the valtrex she prescribed until I knew for sure that I was dealing with shingles.  I honestly didn't feel bad.  I was in denial that I had shingles.

The next day, I felt worse and was able to see my primary care.  He said he'd never seen shingles on a pacemaker site.  He doubted it was shingles.  Then, he looked at the rash and said, "You have shingles.  Why didn't you start the valtrex?  We need to get you on this anti-viral right away."  The nurse in the pacemaker clinic was equally surprised.

Leave it to me.  I seem to get those things others don't get.  I did get the shingles vaccine.  I got it in December of 2011.  I had a terrible reaction to it.  My arm was swollen like you would not believe.  I have read that the vaccine is only effective in 50% of the population over 60.  

I did not have chickenpox until I was an adult.  I broke out with them when I was in my late 30's on the same day as four of my five children broke out.  Three of the five were not even in school yet.  That was a bad day!  

Honestly, I can't complain about this case of shingles.  So far, I have not been that sick.  I've been taking the valtrex and tylenol.  I have had some moments of pain, but nothing has been too severe.  I only have a few little spots, and so far, they have not given me too much pain or itching or burning.  The greatest pain is generalized in my left shoulder blade, and in the area of the pacemaker.   

Jim and I have tickets to see Lady Antebellum on Sunday in Denver.  I have been looking forward to this for so long.  I hope I keep getting better.  I don't want to miss this concert.  I'll keep you posted.  

Retired English Teacher: July Moments

Retired English Teacher: July Moments

I've linked this post to my daughter's blog.  She wrote on the same subject.  She is a great writer.  Visit her blog for more photos of our recent time together.

 http://o-townramblings.blogspot.com/2015/07/family-fun-and-4th-of-july.html

July Moments

July moments need to be captured before the month flies away.
We are past the midway point already.

July has had more drizzle than sizzle this year.

Despite the rain,
nothing could put a damper on the joy
 of being surrounded by some of my children and grandchildren
for the Fourth of July weekend.
I think back on the fall and the winter that we all have gone through.
Now, it is finally summer.
With school out of session, the children are able to take road trips to Grandma's house.

Jonathan, Samantha, and Atticus got the prize for coming the longest distance.  They drove across country from Scranton, PA, to Colorado Springs, CO.  Keicha, with her precious cargo of my granddaughters Regan, Ryan's daughter,  and Gillian, Keicha's daughter,  made the trek across Wyoming from Ogden, UT to Colorado.

I was anxious to see Jonathan as I had not seen him since I left him last October after caring for him after his accident when he suffered trauma to his right brachial plexus. (Click to read about this.)

When I left him in October, he had no feeling in his right upper extremity and had no use of the arm or hand.  He had surgery in February on this injury, and then had a long period of not being able to use the arm while he recovered from surgery.  Now, he is back doing physical therapy with a therapist several times a week, and he reports that he does stretches and strength building exercises two hours every day.  He is slowly regaining use of the arm and the hand.  I must admit that I was overwhelmed with emotion when I first saw him and saw the progress he has made.  I know he has much therapy ahead, but he has made so much progress, and he works very hard at getting back whatever use he can.  His journey has been an arduous one, but it is one he has taken with courage and determination. I am grateful for all the support he has had on the journey.  His wife and his son have no doubt been his closest and staunchest cheerleaders as they are by his side each day.

On the Fourth of July, before our family barbecue, we showered Jonathan, Samantha, and Atticus with a few gifts for the new home they just purchased in Scranton, PA, where Jonathan and Samantha live while they are teaching at Marywood University.  My granddaughter Gillian painted this amazing elephant for Jon and Sam's new home.  Didn't she do an amazing job?

The day was such an fun day.  I took few photos, which was probably just fine with my grandkids.  They always hate it when Grandma gets out her camera and becomes the paparazzi.  Less is more where they are concerned in the photo department.

Atticus & Regan
Hannah & Gillian
Lunch on Grandma & Grandpa's Deck

My niece Michelle was able to join us for the day.  It is always great to have her around.  She adds an extra measure of fun and humor.  She and Keicha go way back when it comes to celebrating the Fourth of July together

Celebrating the 4th of July
Cousins & best friends
Then and now

Keicha, Michelle, and Samantha

After dinner, the kids all decided to go looking for bears.  Of course, a change in activities signaled to my teenage granddaughters that they had to change their clothes from what they'd worn for dinner.

No bears were spotted as the adventurers explored the area around my house.  Keicha took lots of wonderful photos of their times climbing rocks, hiking, and exploring the area around the nearby old Woodman Sanatorium, a treatment center run by the Modern Woodmen during the first half of the last century for those suffering from tuberculosis.  After the exploration trip, they all came home with all sorts of stories about all they had seen and discovered.  I think they all had a memorable time.  (Hopefully, Keicha will do a blog post telling more about these adventures that I can share with you.)

Atticus came home tired and ready to spend time with his buddy Boston.  Boston was very happy about that.

The time together as a family was way too short, but we tried to make the most of time we had.  One day the girls and I went to the Colorado Springs Fine Art Center to the Georgia O'Keeffe exhibit that is currently on display.

It is always a treat to see the work of Chihuly.  This piece is on permanent display at the Fine Arts Center.  No photos were allowed to be taken of the O'Keeffe exhibit.

We had a great day of viewing some wonderful art.  This was followed by eating lunch at one of my favorite Mexican food restaurants.  This isn't the best shot of Keicha. You all know she is quite lovely, but I like the effect I got by taking a panorama photo while sitting out on the patio at Jose Muldoons.  The photo is going on the blog.  (Sorry Keicha.)  Of course, while we ate,  I had to tell Grandma Sally's Jose Muldoons story.  Have you heard it?

One day, about 20 years ago or so, Grandma Sally took her sister to Jose Muldoons for lunch to celebrate her sister's wedding anniversary.  We decided to order margaritas with lunch since it was a special occasion.  We had a great lunch and a good time together.

Grandma Sally wrote a check to pay the bill.

Those were the days before debit cards.

The waiter took the check and the bill.

Soon, he came back and said,

"I'm sorry, but I won't be able to accept this check."

"What?"  said I.

"You said you took checks."

He said, "We do take checks, but we can't take this check."

He then politely handed me the check.

I'd signed the check: Sally Muldoon!

That is why you should never drink a margarita for lunch.

I did once, and when I went to leave, I thought I owned the place.

(Thankfully, I had enough cash to pay the bill that day.)  

After lunch, Jonathan, Samantha, and Atticus met us for ice cream.  I couldn't get any of them to cooperate for a family photo, so this is what you get.  The image of all of us together enjoying ice cream on summer afternoon is one I will remember whenever I visit Josh & John's Ice Cream.  I have so many similar memories of other times we gathered here for ice cream from years gone by.  Do you have favorite places that hold special memories of times with family?

 We ended our day by doing a downtown walking tour of Colorado Springs.  This led us on another art tour as we viewed some graffiti in one of the alleyways.  Jon is giving us an interpretation of what the graffiti writers were saying in this photo below.  

That's my quirky and interesting family.  We go from the art museum to urban art painted on the sides of building and find interest in it all.  

I always wish all of my children and grandchildren could be together whenever we gather together, but in today's world, that is unrealistic.  

Moments in July spent with loved ones are treasures. 

 Moments are no small thing. 

Life is, after all, made up of a collection of  small moments.  

Gather those moments and hold them close to your heart.

A Spring Trip to Utah ~ Part I

If my math is correct, there have been fifty-three days between Mother's Day and Father's Day this year.  I look at the calendar for May and June and see that the days have been scheduled with one thing after another.  Seeing the schedule in black and white explains where the days have gone, but where the moment's go I have no idea.  We have begun summer.  Spring sprinted past me.

The highlight of the spring was a trip to Utah early in May.  My husband wanted me to have time with my two oldest children for Mother's Day.  The weather, horrendous at home with heavy rains and record breaking hail storms, was not much better as we drove that all too familiar route between Colorado and Utah through rain storm after rainstorm.

The View of Pike Peak as we left home

I've been making that long trek across Wyoming at least once a year for the past fifty years.  As we drive the 600 plus miles, we always plan to make a pit stop at Little America, a truck stop, gas station, and hotel that is in the middle of nowhere in the wide expanse that is Wyoming.  We have to get our 50¢ ice cream cone.  This year we found that the ice cream cone is now 75¢!  Not only that, but the iconic back to the sixties feel restaurant where we have eaten so many great meals over the years is closed!  We were sad and disappointed to see that a place where we could count on for a good meal is now gone.  We had to settle for eating a fast food type sandwich in the grocery store part of the gas station.  What a disappointment.

As we walked over to where the old restaurant used to be, I sneaked in to take a photo of the breakfast/lunch counter area one walked through on the way to the dining room.  We have spent more than one night over the years sheltered in a room at Little America when we drove across Wyoming in a snowstorm at Christmas time.  We always looked forward to the nice meals we would eat there.  Now we just have our memories of the place.

Iconic Views of Little America, Wyoming

I learned to drive on I80 when I was a teenager driving across Wyoming with my father.  Much has changed since those days.  There is much more traffic, and there are a lot of trucks making the I80 one of the main routes they take across country.  These days, one can drive at 80 miles an hour on parts of I80.  It is often one sees the speed limit posted at 80!

We got a very late start on the day we took the trip across Wyoming.  My husband had worked late the night before.  Since he was planning on doing most of the driving, he slept in.  Then, we had to pack.  I am notorious for not packing until just before I leave on a trip.  It was noon, lunchtime, when we pulled out of the driveway to begin our journey.  I asked my husband if he'd like to look for a place for lunch before we left town.  His answer, "I was thinking I'd have to look for a room to spend the night before we leave town at the rate we are going."

As it turns out, we should have planned ahead and found a room before we left town.  We made slow progress due to the weather on the first day out.  We decided we wanted to get to Rawlings, Wyoming, before stopping for the night.  That is about the half way mark in the trip.  It was raining like crazy when we got to Rawlings, and we could find a room for the night.  I called every hotel or motel I could find listed on the smartphone apps.  All had no vacancy.  This is not the first time we have come up with this problem in Wyoming.  As they say, "This wasn't our first rodeo." We should have known better and booked a room.  Finally, a clerk at one hotel told me of a new hotel that had just opened.  They had one room left.  We took it.  It was a tiny little room.  We barely had room for our suitcases, but we were happy to have it.  

Tired and hungry, after we were checked in, we drove over to the truck stop for dinner.  At 8:00 at night on a rainy night in Rawlings, we were grateful to find a place to eat.  After dinner, we made our way back to the hotel and began to prepare for bed.  That is when the power went out.  A generator had been hit by lightening.  The entire hotel was in the dark.  Grateful for a room, even one with no electricity, we went to bed without our CPAP machines.  At 4:00 in morning the lights, the t.v. and our CPAP machines suddenly came on and woke us up.  So much for a restful night, but we were dry, and we had a bed, and we got a little sleep.

The next day, we made our way across the rest of Wyoming.  As we entered Utah, I had my husband stop so I could get some photos of Devil's Slide, an interesting limestone formation in Morgan County, Utah.  It always fascinates me.  Read more about it here:  Devil's Slide.

As we drove on into Weber Canyon, we observed that spring had arrived with all of its beauty in Utah.  I especially enjoy driving this part of the journey in the spring because of the verdant green pastures where sheep and other farm animals graze on either side of the highway.  I love Utah in the spring.  It is always so beautiful.  Anxious to get to our destination, we didn't stop for photos.

Family Time

We stayed with oldest son Ryan and his bride of one year.  Ryan cooked us up his wonderful fish tacos for dinner that night.  Dinner was great.  Ryan is such a good cook.  Sheridan is also a good cook.  Together, they make a fabulous team.  Of course the presentation is also a delight.  

The next day, we drove north to Ogden to spend some time with Keicha.  We decided we wanted to go to a restaurant that has been serving awesome meals since 1949:  Maddox near Brigham City, Utah.  I remember taking Ryan there as a baby when I celebrated my very first Mother's Day.  They still serve excellent food there.  Sometimes, it is just fun to visit long time favorites when visiting one's old stomping grounds.  Keicha had actually had dinner there the night before, but she didn't mind going again.

Special Mom & Daughter Time

Friday night, we were back in Salt Lake for a special time down in the Ninth and Ninth neighborhood in Salt Lake City.  (Click on the link to read about this fun neighborhood.)  I always love spending time in this neighborhood and have happy memories of the first time Julie took me there when she was a student at the University of Utah.  We went there to look at an apartment, which she ended up renting, one time when she needed to find a new living arrangement.  She was a bit hesitant to even check it out, but I convinced her we needed to go see it.  Even then, this neighborhood seemed so hip to me.  I thought how I would love to live in the area.

Daughter-in-law Sheridan, who was once Julie's roommate, has owned a shop in the area since 1999. She is very involved in the business community events that take place in the area.  Recently, my son Ryan joined her as a business partner.  If you are in Salt Lake City, you must go and visit Hip and Humble.  Every corner is filled with treasures.  You don't have to go to Salt Lake City to shop at Hip and Humble.  You can shop online too!

Hip & Humble
Ryan & Sheridan

We had such a fun evening going in out of various shops that were participating in the art walk.  This shop was once a flower shop that I remember visiting with Julie many years ago.

It was the perfect spring evening.

Remembering My Father

Hands

Digging out the basement,

Shaking hands with every two by four,

Pounding nails,

Sawing boards,

Building cabinets.

Teaching me to tie my shoes,

Held and manicured by me.

Baiting a fish hook with worms,

Reeling in a trout.

Holding a book,

typing family histories,

Holding mine in the hospital before he died.

I miss you, Daddy.

Remembering you on Father's Day.

In good hands
My father and I
1945

My father & mother in our front yard.
Carol held by mother
Rell & Sally
Colorado Springs, Colorado
1948

Home...

The cliche

home is where the heart is

does not begin to really explain what the word home means.

My mother used to say that anyone with money can buy a fancy house or buy expensive furniture, but  not everyone can make a home.  I always think of that when I go to some homes that seem to be so lacking in a feeling of home even as they are filled with all the "trappings" of home.  There might be just the right selection of furniture, family photos smile down from the walls, and it is obvious to the observer or guest to the "home" that great care was taken to make a pleasant impression when one walks through the door, yet I come away cold not sensing that I have not been in a home, a real home where one can actually live, be oneself, be peaceful and content.  Sometimes these homes seem full of striving for something more grand in appearance, or perhaps things seems just a bit too stilted for my own comfort zone of what I need to feel when I am home.

What makes a home? 

Should one search for the perfect house, or should one find home in the house where one lives?  

Does the house create the home?  

We all long for home, but sometimes home is elusive.

We aren't quite sure what turns a house into a home.

Is the cliche correct?  

If so, how does a place become a place where a heart lives?

When Jim and I married, I moved into his home.  That was one of the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life.  I knew very early in the marriage that I would never be able to be at home in the house he had lived in prior to our marriage no matter how much I tried.  His home was a lovely home, and it had been carefully decorated and well cared for, but it was not my home.  It was not the home he and I had created together.  

Thankfully, a few years after our marriage, we were able to find a home that would become our home.  I looked and looked for the perfect house for us to buy before we bought it.  I wanted it to be a grandparent  house where we would build memories for our grandchildren.  It needed to be big enough so we could have multiple families spend the night.  I even told Jim we could have weddings for daughters in the backyard if we found the right house.  

I knew I had found the right house the minute I stepped on this front porch. As I walked through the door, I was already saying to myself, "This is it."

Jim & Sally celebrating Jim's surprise 60th birthday party on our front porch

We bought the house and turned it into our home.  We even hosted two beautiful weddings for two of our daughters in the back yard.  It was a wonderful experience turning this house into a home.  We remodeled by tearing out old bathrooms and putting in new ones.  We put in new windows.  We tore down old paneling.  We updated it from a dark 70's style house into a more bright and modern decor.  We put in a new sprinkling system, built a new patio, added a second patio, added a shed, and built flower beds where I could dig in the dirt to my heart's content.  We had many Thanksgiving, Christmas,  and Easter celebrations with the family here.  Cousins had sleepovers.  The kids jumped on the trampoline.  We watched our children and grandchildren grow up in this home.  We had much joy and the deepest of sorrows while we lived in this house.  It was to be our retirement home.  We fixed it just like we wanted it so we could sit on our front porch and grow old together in the home we built together.  It was our dearly loved home.  

Then, one day, the home we loved did not seem to fit us anymore.  Jim had a heart attack.  I fell down our basement stairs and had a head injury.  The kids all lived far away from us.  Our doctors were mostly in the town forty miles north of us.  The yard seemed to be too big to care for, and I could not keep up with the weeds, the dead-heading.  The laundry room was two flights of stairs from the bedrooms.  The bedrooms were all upstairs.  Like it or not, we were not getting any younger.  We began to talk about buying a patio home that would require less upkeep.  We wanted one level living.  Once we really were retired, we realized our vision of the home we would live in for retirement had changed.  

We decided to sell our home and make a drastic (for us) move to a town where Jim had never lived that was actually my hometown.  This town was where our doctors were.  Two of Jim's daughters lived there.  We were closer to my daughter and Jim's other daughter.  We were closer to the airport for the children living out of state.  

All of this process was begun three years ago this summer.  Jim surprised me by being so upbeat about moving away from a town where he had lived since he was a young child.  Once the decision was made to sell the house, I became the one unable to let go of my home.  Even today, my heart still lives in that house.  I see photos of the many gatherings in the house and my heart always breaks just a little for the place.

It is no secret that we both have had a hard time adjusting to our new home.  Jim had a hard time adjusting to living in a new town, but he made it an adventure.  He even ventured out and started a new career by working at the Apple store.  I stepped right back into the church home where I made so many friends years ago before I married Jim.  I loved being close to my cousins again.  I loved being home in my hometown.  We both loved the location of our home and still marvel how fortunate we are to live where we do.

I have had the harder time making this house my home.  I have found one can't make the old dearly loved home fit into the new home.  I'm slowly adjusting to making this house the space that brings comfort to me.  I miss the study I had in the old house.  I miss the family room.  I miss that front porch.  I miss my shed.  I miss the flowers.  I miss the roses the most.  I've not had an easy time adjusting to living in a patio home community.  I have issues with the HOA rules.  The wildlife eat my flowers and plantings and frustrate me.  Let's just say, I've had a tough time letting go of the home I loved no matter how much I love this new place, and I do love it.

Every once in a while, I call Mary Jo, my long suffering realtor.  Sometimes she meets Jim and me for lunch.  Sometimes, she meets me for coffee, and we have the best talks.  She is one of the great things that came with this house: a new friendship.  I've called her and asked if she can show me a house that I've seen advertised.  Her first question is always, "What does Jim say?"  "He tells me he will miss me if I move."  

Last week Jim and I drove way out east of town to buy flowers for the yard.  I decided to try again with beating the wildlife by growing a few things in my small flower gardens.  On our way to the nursery, Jim started exploring and took a detour.  Before we knew it, we were looking at new homes. They were patio homes that had all the features we suddenly wished we had in our home.  Of course, we hadn't known we'd wanted them until we saw them in the new homes.  Jim said, "Call Mary Jo tomorrow and see what she can get for our house."  I told him that I was telling her that it was Jim's idea to call.  He was the one that started this house hunt that we had not intended to make.

Then, we got real.  We hated where the houses were located.  We didn't really need all that room.  We knew we would never survive another move.  We knew our kids would think we had really lost it if we even mentioned we were moving.  We knew our hearts were firmly planted where we now live. We came and went for a walk.  "I can't ever leave this area," I said to Jim.  

 We love this place.  We love our location.  We love our home.  Yes, it is not perfect.  Yes, I get frustrated with not being able to grow much because of the wildlife.  The bottom line is:  we would never be able to leave this place.  We have the most awesome places to walk.  We live in a quiet valley at the foothills of the mountains.  We have wonderful neighbors.  It is peaceful and quiet here.  We don't have to mow or water the lawn.  We live in a perfect retirement home.

Today, after church and nice brunch downtown, we went to our favorite ice cream shop not far from our home.  Then we went for a walk where we again marveled at our views.  We asked ourselves how we could ever even think of leaving this place.  

Tonight I sat on our back deck and read while Jim went to a meeting at work.  The cool breezes coming down from the mountains soothed my heart and mind.  As I glanced up from my book, I saw the clouds in the sky were turning a light pink with touches of gray here and there.  The sky, a light baby blue, provided the perfect softened effect for the background of my view.  I heard birds in the distance as the wind softly rustled the aspen leaves on the trees that framed the deck where I was sitting.  I felt as if I had taken a short mountain vacation without ever leaving my home.  The city is fewer than ten minutes away, yet I live in a place that feels like a mountain retreat.

Yes,

I am blessed beyond measure.

I live in this place with the man I love.

My heart lives here.

I am home.