Free falling...
I'm free falling.
Bouncing down the steps,
I found myself
Grasping,
Searching for something to grab.
Then,
Gravity took over.
I hit the floor with a thud.
I had a strange thought.
"This floor is very unforgiving."
My head bounced against a very hard surface.
I felt my teeth rattle.
I immediately yelled to my husband,
"I have fallen, and I am very badly hurt."
Mostly I did that
Because
I wanted to make sure I could still
Think
and
Speak.
Now, twenty-five days later, yes, it has been twenty-five days, I finally believe I will get better.
I have had two CT scans of my head and neck. These show no permanent damage. I have been in the emergency room four times. During the time that I was recovering, I also suffered from a nasty sinus infection. Were the headaches from sinus problems, from the fall, or from my neck? Then, I had a terrible bout with the worst stomach flu I have had in years.
I have seen and ENT doctor, and believe it or not, and ophthalmologist. Both of the doctors have been extremely helpful. I saw the ophthalmologist on the recommendation of my chiropractor. Many head injuries cause visual problems created by a visual midline shift. I presented as if this had occurred in me, but when I had the full exam, which was extensive, we found that I am not suffering from a visual midline shift. If I had been, this condition is treated with prisms in the lens of eye glasses.
As I said, this ophthalmologist was very through. He gave many tests. I failed the test that indicates a vestibular disorder. Since I have been struggling with dizziness since this past summer, this makes perfect sense. The fall probably exacerbated a problem that was already there. Thankfully, there is a specialist that deals with these problems in Castle Rock, Colorado. I will be checking into an evaluation and possible treatment by her.
Next week, I will also be meeting with a doctor who treated me a number of years back after I suffered a brain injury due to a chemical exposure at work. (That is a long story, that I will tell another day.) He will be doing an evaluation to see what has been going on with me since my fall.
At that time of my previous injury, I was treated with neurofeedback. Basically, neurofeedback modifies brain wave activity. When I first learned about this type of therapy, I was skeptical at best; however, because I was nearly unable to work because of my symptoms after the chemical exposure, I decided to give it a try. I had excellent results, and after about six months of treatment, I was so much better. I do not know if he will determine I need additional treatments or not.
In the meantime, each day brings new healing. I no longer have excruciating headaches. I am able to read more. I am able to spend more time on the computer. I am able to type and make my fingers do what my brain wants them to do. I am less anxious and not as easily frustrated. I tire less easily and can accomplish a few things around the house. I find I am coping with life and those around me better. I am walking again. I am not driving yet. I hope to drive again soon.
I hope my blogging friends know how much you have meant to me. I have not responded to your kind comments because I have not been able to do so. Know that you have encouraged me and made me feel very cared for. Thank you for the personal notes and emails.
Blogging friends are the Best! I hope to be back to my old blogging self soon.
So glad to hear you are starting to feel better. Thinking of you even when you are silent. We know you are working hard on healing. Good luck with all the rehab.
ReplyDeletePoor thing. That is quite an ordeal. Yet, from what I gather, you seem to be a person of great strength and character, I am confident that your speedy recovery will be a success. Get well soon, my dear.
ReplyDeleteI am especially glad to hear that you are less anxious and not as easily frustrated. I think regaining your emotional health will be a great impetus to regaining your physical health. It sounds like you are on your way to a good recovery.
ReplyDeleteYou are making steady progress, and this is such good news! I've thought of you often. Keep on keeping on! It'll be great to have you fully back into the blogging world.
ReplyDeleteYou don't really understand how vulnerable you are until you hit the floor and pray that the outcome won't be a forever thing. That's how I felt after my fall in Dec.
ReplyDeleteHappy to hear that you are making definite progress. One foot in front of the other...'This too shall pass.'
Chocolate helps hasten the process!!
I'm so glad you're making progress and feeling better, Sally. A fall, especially at this time of life, is so frightening and can be life-changing. I'm so thankful you're on the mend!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you're feeling more and more like yourself. The body heals more slowly than we like, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking that "free falling" is not the best thing, Sally! (Especially down basement stairs). Sounds like you have a cast of caring people and experts helping you. Slow but sure, Sally - I'm glad that you're able to do some of the things you love, but don't rush it. Day by day - get better!
ReplyDeleteWe've been in similar situations, or know friends who have. You'll need time, assistance with daily chores, and lots of self/indulgence. Let healing take place, and don't expect quick miracles. You hurt important parts of your physiology, parts that coordinate other parts.
ReplyDeleteJust let the doctors, and the family, take good care of you. Nothing else is as important.
Yes, Sally, your progress will take place, and you'll be feeling better every day.
Good thoughts for a speedy recovery are on the way.
Hi Sally, It hurts me to see that you have suffered so much this month.. I hope and pray that you truly are on the road to recovery... You are in my prayers, my Colorado friend.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend.
Hugs,
Betsy
I am so glad to hear you are on the mend, even if slowly, more slowly than any of us hoped for. But we don't always get to choose our healing path. But you are on it, and that's the important part! Thanks for the update. Here's a virtual hug... or two... :-)
ReplyDeleteYou have been through quite an ordeal! And it sounds like you have received very good medical attention. I'm sure you are very grateful for that.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are regaining your former self.
Patty...you have been through so much. You have seen a lot of doctors, and thankfully you have received the treatments that you needed. As you continue to heal, I want to let you know that I am so thankful that you are doing better. I'm glad that your bad headaches are gone and that you are walking again. Continue to take it easy... and take care of you.
ReplyDeleteHugs and love,
Jackie
Goodness that must have been a really nasty scary fall. so glad that you are finally begining to feel like yourself. take it easy Miss Sally, let others nurture you for a change. It looks like Hubby is doing a great job.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Joanne
So glad you're doing well. The neurofeedback sounds interesting...isn't that what the scientologists use?
ReplyDeleteSlow but surely things seem to be improving. Good. Now the moral of all this for me is to either give up winter bird feeding or find some kind of traction boots. I've taken two hard falls bonking my head this winter feeding my feathered friends.....
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are making progress though I know you wish it were happening much more quickly.
ReplyDeleteWe just don't bounce back like we did when we were younger.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Hi Sally. I am so happy to read this post from you today, and to see that you finally feel that you have turned a corner. It must have been so awful for you, and obviously shook your whole body up. I hope that you will continue to improve every day and won't it be wonderful when you will be able to drive again?! Take care my friend. Blessings to you.
ReplyDeleteGood, that sounds better.
ReplyDeleteLook after yourself and take things step by step.
Here's to continued healing. I am impressed that you had that poem in you even after all the trials of the fall.
ReplyDeleteThe scariest part for me was learning that you'd hit your head! Thank goodness you're getting better bit by bit. You really need to rest and take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteSally, I knew your fall was serious, but each post gives a new sense of what it has put you through. At the same time, you are clearly making progress, and that's worth celebrating. Please take care. We want you back here, but on your own schedule!
ReplyDeleteSo thankful you were up to posting this update. Just reading more details of your fall and subsequent challenges is scary! I am keeping you in my prayers and also saying a prayer of thanks for how plastic our brains are and how they continue to recover.
ReplyDeleteOh Sally, I'm so glad to hear things are improving for you. It seems like you have many wonderful doctors who are helping you to heal. It is amazing how quickly life can be changed on us, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteKeep taking it easy, follow doctor orders (all of them!) and let yourself get back to normal.
Hugs,
How scary for you! May your healing continue and good for you to get the evaluations and treatment options for yourself. Head injuries effects can be cumulative.
ReplyDeleteI have been a terrible friend. I am so sorry. I had no idea this had happened to you. I fell once but it was nothing like this.
ReplyDeleteI WILL be saying prayers.
sandie
I am so glad to read that you are getting better. This has been a truly terrible experience, and I'm jazzed there's improvement.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, the older I get the more I fear falling. I am glad to hear that things are improving and you are on the mend. Please take good care and keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear you're on the mend. It sounds like you're getting all kinds of great care, and could perhaps be even healthier at the end of this than you were before. That you are able to write at all, and to visit blogs at all, is amazing. You are amazing.
ReplyDeleteI am really sorry that you've been through so much and all because of a fall.
ReplyDeleteI am pleased to hear that you are improving and getting over the awful symptoms.
I am quite scared to walk on ice & slippery snow in case I break something but I hadn't realised all these other awful things could happen.
Take care.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
I'm so sorry for you - it sounds terrible. But it is good that your doctors are so thorough and I hope you continue to heal.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to read you are feeling better, but upset with myself for not even knowing you had fallen. Healing thoughts to you. Blog friends are the best!
ReplyDeleteYou HAVE been prolific, and I feel bad for missing it as you wrote! This is so beautiful and what a wonderful way to explain it all to us. I know you are surrounded by fine caretakers who are skilled at understanding the issues you face. That is a relief. Every day I send prayers for your healing. Hugs.
ReplyDelete